In addition to facilitating modesty, clothes keep bodies warm in cold climates and protect skin against Limburger fondue spillage. Uphold cloth-based cheese shields with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of dry cleaning at Alamo Cleaners, with three convenient locations.

Backed with more than 60 years of fabric-freshening experience, Alamo Cleaners launders livery with state-of-the-art dry cleaning and pressing equipment. Dress shirts crumpled from long days at the office or wild nights in the closet will be purified and pressed, ready for pick-up or home delivery in a timely manner ($1.85 per shirt). As transcendent as they may be, weekly food fights at church can render pants, blouses, skirts, and coats too messy to don as Monday's best, so baptize them in the cleansing powers of Alamo Cleaners for a rejuvenated pop in the collar (starting at $4.10 per article).