Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $65, you get a spa package at Amazing Touch in Athena Day Spa with Kelly, located in Vancouver, Washington (a $130 total value). The package includes a 30-minute Himalayan-salt soak (a $35 value), a 60-minute Himalayan-stone massage (an $85 value), a cooling eye treatment (a $5 value), and aromatherapy (a $5 value). Within the warm tranquility of Athena Day Spa, Kelly, a skilled massage therapist, rejuvenates muscles and minds by way of therapeutic massage and soothing body treatments. The pampering session begins with the 30-minute cooling of a Himalayan-salt soak. As bodies detoxify in a salty brew, skin acquires a soft, silken sheen reminiscent of a fleece-covered vanity mirror. The epidermal soak is followed up by a 60-minute Himalayan-salt-stone massage during which Kelly places heated salt stones atop achy muscles to reduce stress and inflammation, and prevent bodies from floating up into ceiling fans. During treatments, a blend of aromatic oils sedates senses before a finishing eye treatment reduces swelling around sockets, reinvigorating ocular wells with the kind of pluck rivaled only by banjos.

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