The only way experiencing roller derby's brutal ballet of body checks, collisions, and flying elbows could get any sweeter is if the rink were made of sprinkled donut. Today's Groupon gets the Phoenix area its daily recommended dosage of kinetic estrogen. For $6, you get one general-admission stadium-seat ticket to watch the Arizona Derby Dames on March 20 at the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Doors open at 6 p.m., followed by a two-bout, banked-track showdown at 7 p.m. The season-opening double-header pits the Brutal Beauties against the Schoolyard Scrappers, followed by the Runaway Brides vs. the Coffin Draggers.

Fresh off the success of its fourth season, the Arizona Derby Dames is one of the largest and fastest-growing all-girl roller derby leagues—second only to the Kentucky Giantess Gals—and is one of only six lady leagues in the world that play on a modern banked track. The coliseum, one of the world's largest roller derby venues, offers plenty of space for five teams and more than 100 women to get roller-rowdy. Though at first the whole thing will seem like high-speed chaos, as inked and pierced roller-grrls pleasantly pummel other roller-grrls, spectators will come to appreciate the highly coordinated team flight formations and the violent grace of pivots, blockers, and jammers as they hit each other hard, and often.

Unlike NASCAR races, ice hockey, and mixed martial crocheting tournaments, roller derby consistently delivers the crashes and smashes the audience paid to see. With the two-bout double-header of today's deal, your first round of Arizona Derby Dames will instill the rules of the track, while the second will let you get lost in the action and athleticism while letting loose with more than a few "pained sympathy" faces.

Reviews

Metromix, Azcentral.com, and Statepress.com featured the Arizona Derby Dames. ABC 15 describes them as:

• …packed full of elbows and evil looks…[an] eruption of girl-filled mayhem.

Phoenix New Times included the Arizona Derby Dames as a Readers' Choice for Best Wheels 2009:

• It isn't hard summing up roller derby's allure: Tough-as-nails women (many of whom are of the tattooed-and-pierced bent) clad in fishnets and miniskirts batter each other while circling an oval track and soaking up the cheers and jeers of bloodthirsty crowds. What's not to love?