Humankind has long toiled to tame ice, drowning it in seas of cola or embedding prehistoric men within it, Trojan Horse-style, for eventual surprise ambushes millions of years later. Conquer frozen facades via feet with today’s Groupon: for $7, you get admission to a public skating session, skate rental, and tasty eats at Bakersfield Ice Sports Center (a $16.27 value).

Bakersfield Ice Sports Center offers slick-footed skaters an opportunity to beat the heat in a cool environment, featuring temperatures under 60 degrees. Instead of ham-fistedly strapping meat cleavers to their feet, visitors will shred ice with a pair of rented skates ($3), showcasing their mastery of centrifugal motion. After working up an appetite, fledgling figure skaters can refuel with a large slice of pizza ($2.79), a small soda ($1.49), and the fried dough delight that is the churro ($1.99). Bakersfield Ice Sports Center’s facility includes a fully-stocked pro shop featuring apparel, equipment, and polar-bear-repelling colognes. Additionally, a convenient schedule offers plenty of public skating sessions ($7 admission) to hone skills handy for carving romantic haikus into fresh sheets of ice.

Ice skating is a great way to stay active and healthy without using fancy exercise contraptions (bags of rocks, bags of corn chowder, etc.) Thanks to Bakersfield Ice Sports Center, you’ll put those neglected leg muscles to use and burn calories while having a blast mimicking your favorite skating champs such as Elena Dementenova, Isaac Dementenova, or Russell Dementenova.

Reviews

While reviews for Bakersfield Ice Sports Center are still growing, three Yelpers give the venue an average of four stars and two Insider Pagers give it an average of three stars:

• Great way to beat the heat, get exercise and have fun. Ice skating in Bakersfield is it! – Jan K., Insider Pages
• The ice itself is great, employees have always been nice and caring. – Blake L., Yelp