Like a loyal dog or a friendly bartender, a cookie never judges you—unless it sees you cheat on a crossword puzzle. Today's Groupon helps you spend more time with this steadfast snack food: for $17, you get a tin of one-dozen cookies ordered online from Better Than Nookie Cookie. This Groupon does not include the cost of shipping and handling ($10.70).

Better Than Nookie Cookie bakes gourmet cookies with bawdy monikers meant to make grandmothers blush. You get your choice of a titillating tin of chocolate desire cookies, with bittersweet-chocolate chunks, english toffee, lightly salted pecans, and rolled oats; or passionate peanut butter, with toffee, peanut butter chips, and a chocolate drizzle. One-dozen cookies will be gingerly packed into a reusable metallic tin, ideal for storing handwritten love letters or gently used toothbrushes. Cookies will ship anywhere, and one lucky sweet tooth will have the dessert delivered by Fabio's hair double.