Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Stay above suspicion with today's Groupon: for $499, you get four sessions of SmoothShapes cellulite-reducing treatment at Body Allure (a $1,200 value).

With more than 20 years of experience between them as practicing physicians, brothers Drs. Michael and Steve Samuel restructure cellulite-dimpled skin in comfortable 20-minute sessions using noninvasive, FDA-approved SmoothShapes lasers. As a vacuum massage and rollers help blood circulate, a pair of class-four lasers divide the work of exposing and liquefying the lumpy fat that clings to subcutaneous cells like a secret agent gripping the side of a night train to Vienna. This Groupon provides four out of the recommended program of eight twice-weekly sessions, which rebuild and re-firm areas afflicted with unwanted bump mapping. Torsos and limbs can remain as smooth as an unruffled feather for up to eight months without extra maintenance.

Customer Reviews