Welcome to Groupon Memphis! For our inaugural deal, $49 gets you $125 worth of spa services at Calming Influence Massage & Bodywork Salon in Midtown.

You're probably thinking, "That sounds great, but I've never bought a car or a computer without first reading the Wikipedia definitions for car and computer—I'm not about to buy a Groupon either without a briefing." Well neither would we, and since this is everyone's first Groupon, allow us to briefly explain how it works.

How Groupon Works

Groupon is a combination of the words group and coupon. Each day, we offer an unbeatable deal on the best of Memphis: restaurants, spas, sporting events, theater, and more. By promising businesses a minimum number of customers, we get discounts you won't find anywhere else. We call it "collective buying power."

If you want to get the deal, just click BUY before the offer ends at midnight. If the minimum number of people (15 for today's deal) sign up by the end of the day, you'll get a printable gift certificate in your inbox the next morning that you can use whenever you want (well, at least until the deal expires—today's expires in one year). If not enough people join, no one gets the deal (and you won't be charged), so invite your friends to make sure you get the discount!

It's nice to wake up to something new every day. Some people get their daily fix from desk calendars with a cute puppy and a funny caption every morning. Groupon is like a desk calendar, except the puppy is an unbeatable discount and the funny caption is a profound reflection on the flowers and needles growing from life's cactus. We selflessly share our deep insights, hoping that you will join our mob of consumers, thus strengthening our collective buying power and commanding even better deals.

Details

Soak away the worries that have lodged themselves in the nooks of your joints and the crooks of your connective tissues. Today's deal will restore your body to a nubile state of relaxed joyousness unlike any since you got your braces removed by that traveling braceman. For $49, you get $125 worth of spa services at Calming Influence Massage & Bodywork Salon in Midtown. Call ahead to make your reservation.

If seasonal allergies or demonic possessions have you feeling congested, your Groupon can treat you to Calming Influence's two-hour Relax & Breathe package ($100), during which you'll enjoy a one-hour massage accompanied by a luxurious steam bath infused with an herbal blend and pure eucalyptus. As you steam, your massage therapist will help open your breathing with a facial pressure-point massage. Your Groupon can also get you a rejuvenating Ultra Detox Steam Embrace package ($125). After a gentle exfoliation, you will be covered head to toe in Ayurvedic body mud, much as you were after that shipwreck. A steam canopy activates the healing properties of the mud and also warms the body, releasing toxins. Capping your session is a one-hour full-body massage that uses essential oils to encourage the body's natural healing process. If you're the type who likes to mix and match, you can get any services up to $125. A one-hour massage with aromatherapy ($75), salt glow ($35), and aromatherapy foot bath ($15) is just one of many possible combos, but your Groupon must be used in one visit.

Calming Influence's owner and primary calming influence, Gene Elliott, has practiced massages in the Memphis area for 16 years, often on humans, and his team of fellow massage therapists have all been trained at the Massage Institute of Memphis. This consistency will help you avoid the wildly inconsistent quality of massages you've come to expect from your butcher and Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.

Reviews

The Commercial Appeal and Memphis Flyer have both featured Calming Influence, praising its relaxation-inducing therapies:

• [Massage therapist Tammy Braithwaite] manipulates her hands in various ways to work out my knotted muscles, and midway through my 30-minute session, my muscles begin to relax….It's the same pleasurable feeling I'd get from taking painkillers, but it's a natural high without icky side effects. – Bianca Phillips, Memphis Flyer
• Sharon Bicks, a client of Elliott's since 1995, said that the steam embrace was more comfortable to her than similar treatments she's had in northern California and the Middle East. "I've had mud wraps before where they literally wrap you up and you can't move your arms, and I couldn't stand it," Bicks said. "But this was great, you're free inside this steam tent and I didn't feel trapped. I felt great afterwards." – Jonathan Devin, Commercial Appeal

One Yahoo! Local awards Calming Influence a perfect five stars:

• Walked in and was greeted by a friendly and informative staff. I use massage for both relaxation and for muscle pain. Had a one hour therapeutic massage that was about the best I've ever had. – writesads