Cafés were first postulated by Aristotle, who included them in his Posterior Analytics and Metaphysics as the causal elements of casual dining and acoustic-guitar ballads. Explore the formal cause of deliciousness with today's deal: for $5, you get $10 worth of caffeinated café cuisine and handcrafted beverages at Casablanca Coffee, located deep within the dark, throbbing heart of the Gulch. This Groupon is not valid for other offers and may not be used for specials.

Casablanca Coffee's menu is replete with dining delights supplied by local vendors. The café cuisine will turn a coffee run into a deeply satisfying lunchtime experience if given the chance, so pair your quad-shot power latte ($3.89) with the California Gentlemen (roast beef, avocado, provolone, sprouts, and honey mustard on sourdough, $7.95) and fill your body's gas tank with enough fuel to conquer your HR department’s deadly obstacle course of trust exercises. Early-bird mimes, meanwhile, can open the imaginary morning paper over a cup of house coffee (12–20 ounces, $1.37–$2.29) or a steaming cup of loose-leaf tea ($1.60) served alongside the Casabagel ($3.95, not served after 11 a.m.), a morning delight made of your choice of bagel, scrambled egg, bacon or ham, cheddar cheese, and tomato. Depending on your needs, Casablanca's specialty drinks can refresh the mouth with an Italian soda (variety of coffeehouse flavors, $3; add crème for $0.25), relax the mind with a 16-ounce real fruit smoothie ($4.75, seven fruit flavors, no added sugar), or recharge your lithium human cells without your plugging a finger into the nearest outlet with the signature coffee-blender creations ($4).

Casablanca's relaxing environment is the result of its almost complete absence of cobras and free live music on Saturday nights, which scientific testing has proven to be totally rad. Load up on lattes and pull an all-nighter completing your paper on the effects of sleep deprivation with today’s Groupon to Casablanca Coffee.