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Reviewed November 14, 2015
Reviewed September 17, 2014
Reviewed September 7, 2014
What You'll Get
When the last dinosaurs died out in the early 1700s, it had nothing to do with disease or space debris but instead involved a genus of reptiles too slow to read the comprehensive water toxicity reports published by leading specialists. Today’s Groupon remedies the past with a speed-reading workshop from the Center for Lifelong Learning for $55, a $395 value. Stave off extinction with exceptional literacy skills that will keep you well informed in a fraction of the time.
Reduce War and Peace to mere short storytelling, and decrease the dictionary to a random free-verse poem of alphabetized rigmarole. Through the influence of extensive research, Dr. Jackie Alan Giuliano and the good folks at the Center for Lifelong Learning have cultivated a workshop designed to awaken your brain to its greater potential and boost the words you read every minute as well as the percent yield of retained knowledge. Workshops are available as two-day sessions. One-day sessions are also occasionally offered; check the schedule for updates. The results will give you the turbo-charged skills to read two to six books, pamphlets, reports, and cookie fortunes in the time it used to take you to read one. Your bored brain will awaken with enthusiastic vigor, since it no longer goes into hibernation mode when you pore over endless passages and chapters of information.
Renovate your mind into a haberdashery of enhanced vocabulary and literary knowledge, and impress absolutely everyone with how quickly you read their memoirs, recipes, blog posts, and kitten collars; or get this Groupon for college kids loaded with homework. This is an information world we live in, and it is the steadfast bookworm who gets ahead through sponge-like acquisition. Make your head a bear-trap for comprehension, and find out how many bear facts you can trap in a matter of seconds. Also, imagine if you could read every Groupon 10 times faster.
A pair of fast-reading Yelpers give the Center for Lifelong Learning a glowing five stars:
- Taking this workshop does present me with one problem: devouring books at four times normal speed gives me an unfair advantage over my competition – Dan M.
- I started the weekend reading a little over 200 words per minute, and by the end of the weekend I was reading nearly 1000 words per minute! – Lani M.
Get It Over With
Reading is a thankless chore that most agree needs to be blasted through as quickly as possible to make room for modern pastimes such as learning Krav Maga watching season two of Star Trek. Enter speed reading, a definitive solution to those who need to quickly read for business or heist purposes. What other everyday tasks should be done as quickly as possible?
A break-up: Avoid a prolonged argument by inviting your soon-to-be ex to a public place like a romantic restaurant or a Niagra Falls chapel. You'll need to have your muscles coiled for a quick getaway, so make like an Olympic sprinter and begin your break-up speech by getting down on one knee.
Cooking dinner: It's no secret that 60 minutes at 350 degrees would be just 15 minutes at 1400 degrees. Shave off more time by putting the entire oven inside of a much larger homemade microwave.
Rocking a baby to sleep: Impossible—it is not safe to touch a baby in any way.
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The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Dec 4, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person. May purchase multiple as gifts. Fremont, Ballard, and Seattle Metro locations available. Must call to reserve class space and location preference. No walk-ins. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Center for Lifelong Learning
Akin to declaring that the sun is big, saying that Jackie Alan Giuliano loves learning is a giant understatement. The president of the Center for Lifelong Learning, Dr. Giuliano has embraced all forms of knowledge throughout his career, including a 20-year tenure at NASA, a PhD, and artistic endeavors in digital photography and the construction of dreamcatchers. Through extensive research, he and his team at the center have cultivated speed-reading lessons designed to boost the number of words students and professionals read every minute and increase retained knowledge by revisiting the way the brain processes reading. They have helped those with learning challenges such as dyslexia build confidence and equip all with the skills to excel at school, work, or while rapidly reading instructions to successfully diffuse bombs.