Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed away in the hangar bay. Achieve massage's soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s deal: for $30, you get a one-hour Swedish massage at De-Knotted Massage (a $60 value).

Each massage uses light or medium pressure to loosen knots and alleviate stress. The smooth, gliding strokes ease muscle tension and promote relaxation, easing overworked muscles and melting tension into a conveniently positioned bucket. An effective treatment for stress reduction and the improvement of blood circulation, Swedish massage also relieves anxiety, depression, and trauma resulting from having a quarter painfully extracted from your ear by a street magician.

In addition to the relaxing massage, an experienced staff will ensure that each visit is imbued with memorable calmness. Instead of rubbing up on a sticky pine tree or renting a back-scratching monkey, opt for a skilled massage therapist who will expertly remove knots from your muscles like a master sailor with surprisingly kempt hands. Embark on a relaxing mini-staycation with today’s stress-melting Groupon to De-Knotted Massage.