Like a deserted houseplant, a neglected body will droop, wither, and be eaten by cats. Care for your skeleton husk with today's Groupon: for $134, you get a four-massage sampler at Dolce Vida Medical Spa (a $269 value). This Groupon is valid for both the Shelton and Hamden locations.

Dolce Vida Medical Spa's massage therapists coax stress and discomfort from bodies in 60-minute deep tissue, Swedish, hot-stone, and lava shell massages. The Swedish variety combines five styles of long, flowing strokes to gently awaken hung-over circulatory systems and soothe twitchy muscles; deep tissue styles target chronic pain with firm pressure by digging deep into tissue to extract the stress and dinosaur bones buried within. In the hot-stone massage, a therapist places smooth, heated stones on the body to soothe the nervous system with warmth, and the lava shell massage unknots muscles with tiger-striped clams heated from within with minerals, algae, and oils.

Each of Dolce Vida's sampler massages comes with either a brown-sugar or salt back-scrub treatment that thoroughly exfoliates skin, leaving it glowing brighter than a just-married lighthouse. Complimentary cucumber and orange eye treatments, packed with skin-salvaging vitamin E, aloe vera, and chamomile, cool and comfort patrons' eye-stalks.