Clothes make the man, just as monocles make the millionaire and swimming pools full of monocles make the billionaire. Keep your clothes clean with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a punch card for four dry-cleaning services from Dry Cleaning To-Your-Door, servicing sullied duds for the dress-conscious denizens of the zip codes 29063 and 29212 (a $60 value). With each service, dry cleaners pick up, dry-clean, and return up to $15 worth of dry cleaning to your home.

Dry Cleaning To-Your-Door picks up, purges, and presents customers' clothing in a 24-hour period. Green vans reading Dry Cleaning To-Your-Door zip throughout the Columbia area, picking up green bags full of shirts ($2.15), dresses ($11.50), and pants covered in Silly Putty ($6.15). After absterging apparel of their stained pasts, as well as replacing men's shirt buttons for free, staffers reload the vans with rejuvenated wardrobes and deliver them straight to clients' doors or yurt hatches. Bearers of the punch card can summon the stain-vanquishing vessel four times in a four-month period, keeping bedraggled blouses and unkempt apiarist suits from surrendering to a life of dirtiness and despair one $15 load at a time. The shop makes courtesy calls to remind customers of a pickup or drop-off, and for garments with serious tarnish, savvy clothes cleaners offer a complimentary stain analysis.

Dry Cleaning To-Your-Door ensures quality with a 100 percent satisfaction guarantee policy, effectively assuring customers that they can revive worn-out leisure suits. Repeat cleaning customers will receive the monthly newsletter "ExtraClean" in the mail, full of tips and tricks for keeping garments as groomed as the president's lawn.

Pricing on Dry Cleaning To-Your-Door's website differs from current pricing. Today's Groupon lists current pricing for dry cleaning services.