Without massage oil, achy Mounties have to rub their spines against tree bark until the fragrant sap starts attracting swarms of vicious waffles. Cherish the warm aromas and healing hands of human limbs with today's Groupon: for $65, you get a 90-minute Thai warm-oil massage (a $135 value) at Dusnee Thai Spa, located on the Upper East Side.

One of the oldest types of therapeutic muscle work, the traditional Thai massage combines moderate pressure, careful muscle manipulation, and stretching with warm oils to simultaneously relax and energize the body and mind. Entrust your bone canopy to the highly trained staff of licensed therapists at Dusnee Thai Spa, and they'll commence 90 minutes of smooth, gliding, and stress-busting motions with their hands, thumbs, elbows, forearms, feet, knees, and pancreas as the warm oils nourish the skin and evict loitering toxins. Similar to yoga, the treatment tones the muscles, helps keeps joints flexible, alleviates fatigue, and sweeps cobwebs from your belfry like a champion chimney sweep.

Elegant linens and pillows accent the upscale, comfortable treatment rooms at Dusnee Thai Spa, which rests conveniently in the heart of Manhattan. Come in for a traditional massage, and you'll leave the premises with your muscular fibers singing as harmoniously as a barbershop quartet, instead of screeching like the lead singer in a Norwegian death-metal barbershop quartet. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.

Reviews

Yelpers and six Citysearchers give Dusnee Thai Spa an average of 4.5 stars:

• Even for New York, the ambiance is wanting here, but the second the massage starts, it's clear this is a five star place. If you've never had a Thai massage before, it's definitely a different experience, but an amazing one. – Jennifer H., Yelp
• The staff doesn’t act stuffy -- there are no airs put on when you walk into Dusnee…the staff is upbeat, professional, and welcoming. I got the traditional Thai massage which I loved. I must say my experience was great. – saiso74, Citysearch