Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $30, you get a 60-minute deep tissue, hot stone, or Swedish massage (up to a $65 value) at Eclips Salon and Suites on Spring Avenue.

Eclips Salon is a locally owned and operated beauty venue that offers calming massages at the hands of a skilled staff of nationally certified therapists. Let these muscle molders evict knots from flesh houses while transporting you to a blissful state of relaxation with your choice of massage technique. A hot stone massage warms stressed spots with smooth, heated stones, melting away tension into a conveniently placed bucket. Swedish massages utilize long, soothing strokes in order to increase circulation and decrease pain, while a deep tissue massage uses focused pressure to treat problematic areas and locate bountiful fossil fuel deposits. Each 60-minute massage is personalized to meet patrons’ needs, unlike a pre-packaged stack of Christmas cards made out to Jane Doe and accidentally sent to grandma.