Throughout history, people have turned to massage for pain relief, stress reduction, and improving their ability to see through steel-reinforced-concrete bomb-shelter walls. Discover what's in someone's fallout stash with today's Groupon: for $47, you get a 80-minute massage ($95 value) at Elements Therapeutic Massage's Hillard location. This Groupon is good for new clients only.

Four pain-reducing, stress-relieving massage techniques are offered with today's deal, each specifically aimed at different problems or pains and administered in a private room with mellow lighting and mellower music. Before the massage, you will fill out a profile to determine which type will work best. The Swedish massage is a light-pressure treatment that uses long, flowing muscle strokes to soothe tension, relieve stress, and bring tranquility to body and mind. For muscle pain, joint aches, and general stiffness, the deep-tissue massage offers ample relief by stimulating muscles and encouraging blood circulation. A sports massage targets the stress that repetitive motions place on joints, ligaments, and tendons, helping reduce injury and swelling. Expectant mothers or women who are pregnant can relieve discomfort and stress with a prenatal massage, which helps keep both mother and baby healthy.

No matter what causes your aches, pains, stress headaches, or genetic seagull magnetism, the professional therapists at Elements Therapeutic Massage will work with your muscles and ligaments to relieve your ills and put a spring back into your clockwork stride. When booking your appointment, Elements Therapeutic Massage will match you with a massage therapist based on the amount of pressure you desire during the treatment.