Every day, the human body is bombarded with toxins from processed foods, environmental pollution, and blowdarts. Purge your poisons with today's Groupon: for $30, you get an ion foot cleanse and 45-minute infrared sauna session (a $60 value) at Energetic Body Wrap on Woody Lane.
Though its bailiwick is cocooning torsos in body wraps, Energetic Body Wrap also keeps its clients healthy and happy with a variety of other diet and spa services. The ionCleanse detoxes your body from the toes up with a bubbling footbath, during which millions of ions commando-crawl through your corpus and neutralize tissue-acid wastes. After 20–30 minutes, these particles of fat, mucus, and ectoplasm form a visible residue in the water while the rest of you practically levitates over to Energy Body Wrap's infrared sauna. For 45 minutes, the sauna's dry environment and comfortably warm temperature deep-heats the body's tissues. As the treatment squeezes more toxins out of your soggy flesh-rag, you'll also burn calories and feel your joints loosen as aches dissipate into steam, along with stress and fatigue. The combined treatments at Energetic Body Wrap will help you sleep more soundly, think more clearly, and percolate with enough energy to finally finish digging your home's moat.