In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a Swedish aromatherapy massage and a 30-minute naturopathic wellness consultation at Essence Naturopathic Organic Medical Spa (a $95 value).

Essence Naturopathic Organic Medical Spa's passionate team of wellness experts, led by Dr. Melissa Younano and Bahar Brumand, heal and soothe agitated bodies with homeopathic medicine and relaxing spa services. In a 30-minute, in-depth naturopathic consultation ($40), patients receive professional guidance concerning health, diet, and acute cases of cooties. Afterwards, an experienced spa therapist pops open a bottle of essential oils such as lavender, vanilla cream, or coconut. World-weary clients can ignore all outside stresses and impending high-stakes pinochle tournaments as soothing strokes soften muscle tension and bodily aches during a one-hour Swedish massage ($55). The spa enlists Hungarian-line ilike Organic Skin Care to do its aromatic bidding with vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables designed to nourish dermal layers and activate senses.