Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavy-set brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon to European Massage Clinic. Choose between the following options:
- For $20, you get a 30-minute massage (a $40 value).
- For $30, you get a 60-minute massage (a $60 value).
Wielding years of experience as a registered massage therapist, Lori Regush softens stiff muscles and eases aching joints through therapeutic massage techniques. Clients can choose to recline for thirty minutes or a full hour as Lori stimulates the circulatory and nervous systems by canvassing specific pain points with precise pressure and convincing transcendental arguments. The therapy blends a range of strokes to treat ailments such as sports injury, stress, pain from pulling insolent root vegetables, and chronic stiffness. For added relaxation, patrons may soak up detoxifying rays wafting through the complimentary infrared sauna before or after their massage.