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Everyone knows that Swedes use a lot of oils in their famous massages, but did you know that Sweden is the world’s second-largest consumer of lubricating oils? A 2006 study in The American Examiner of Suspicious Swedish Behavior reported that Swedes annually consume 1,460 gallons of lubricating oils per person. That comes out to exactly four gallons per person per day (leap year not factored in to avoid over-complication). And taking into account that children require less oil to become slick, adult Swedes may be lathering themselves with up to 12 gallons a day. To non-Swedes, that number may sound high, but in a country driven by the Swedish massage, ABBA, and general sexiness, it’s right on par.
Here’s the typical oil-usage schedule of an average Swedish family of four on military time:
- 05:30 - Wake up, full-body soak in vat of scalding oil (300 gal., one-time use)
- 06:30 - Family massage (5 gal.)
- 10:15 - Breakfast
- 10:30 - Period of quiet thought (3 gal.)
- 12:00 - Operate a massage parlor from back of Smart car (1 gal.)
- 13:00 - Leave work
- 13:15 - Exercise
- 13:30 - Period of slightly louder thought (4 gal.)
- 20:00 - Go to bed (3 gal.—the average Swedish family uses vinyl sheets)
If you’re interested in living like a Swede, check out today’s deal on an incredible Swedish massage at GemVie.
Today $25 gets you a $65 Groupon for a Swedish massage at GemVie MediSpa (that’s a 62% savings). Located at 24 East 36th St. in Midtown Manhattan, GemVie is your safe harbor for relaxation and rejuvenation in an increasingly stressful and demanding world. What better way to unwind than with a 30-minute Swedish massage designed to relieve tension and stress? At GemVie, a masseuse will combine long, gliding strokes and hearty kneading to ease soreness, soothe your nerves, and loosen muscles in your entire body. If you already live in a constant state of pure relaxation, today’s Groupon will make a wonderful gift for someone less fortunate than you.
After your rubdown, unwind further in the relaxation room or linger over gourmet coffee or juices on the garden terrace.
Medical Spa Report called GemVie “a spa treasure for those looking to escape the area’s hustle and bustle” and praised its “charming garden terrace”. Who can argue with a publication that specifically reviews spas?
Not Citysearch reviewers, who give GemVie a perfect five-star average. > * ”My fiance surprised me with a couple’s massage at GemVie Spa for Valentine’s Day. We decided that this will be our tradition from now on. All the emotions were positive, very clean, beautiful place. Great smiley attentive staff and the treatments itself was marvelous! In this fast paced world sometimes you forget how important is it to relax and spend some quality time with your beloved one… you will remember it again at GemVie.” - LoveSophia > * “This place is Amazing!!! The best brazilian waxing… fabulous massages… excellent staff…” - lisatenn18 > * “Great facial, wax and, of course, massages.” - jessnyc79
Get your Groupon!
Led by a board-certified physician, GemVie MediSpa's staff has developed a wide range of services that combine medical technology with cosmetics to beautify clients. Specialists harness the power of skincare products from brands such as Yon-Ka to rejuvenate complexions, laser light energy to permanently zap off unwanted hairs, and vacuum-massage systems to knead away cellulite. The med spa further enhances its skincare treatments with a handful of complimentary services, including a customized consultation, digital skin analysis, and barrage of butterfly kisses from the staff.