Body linguists interpret slouching as an indication of sorrow, low self-esteem, and an illogical fear of low-flying spacecraft. Stand tall and bravely stare down the skies with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a 60-minute Swedish massage at Great Escape Therapeutic Massage, LLC (a $60 value).

Certified massage therapists Gary and Judy Knight ease stress, tension, and injuries with relaxing Swedish massage sessions. Palms focus pressure on superficial layers of muscle before following the blood's path back to the heart with long, gliding strokes and furtively inserted hemoglobin tracking devices. Gentle hands then finger-paint scenes of pastoral harmony on backs with kneading motions that expel toxins, improve circulation, and ease chronic pains. Throughout the session, the therapist methodically stretches limbs and rotates joints to invigorate connective tissues and increase flexibility. When they finally rise from cloud-soft beds of linen sheets, clients learn a series of at-home stretching techniques to promote further relaxation and faster recovery after long flights spent crammed in overhead compartments.