In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your body for granted with today's Groupon to Great Hands Massage Therapy. Choose between the following options:

• For $32, you get one one-hour massage (up to a $65 value).
• For $90, you get three one-hour massages (up to a $185 value).

Great Hands Massage Therapy’s wellness wizards soothe tension and relieve aches with a multitude of massages. Shed stress for one hour with a choice of five types of massage, or test the benefits of up to three different treatments on three separate occasions. During Swedish massages, therapists treat stressed muscles with long rolling strokes that tease tension into oblivion like a steamroller teases asphalt into crying steam. Muscles with more deeply internalized issues, such as past injury, repetitive-motion stress, and fear of dumbbells in clown makeup, can benefit from a deep-tissue massage that employs tough love and deep pressure to unwind tangled tissue beneath the body's surface. As the therapist unknots twisted muscles and Gordian stressors, calming music, a waterfall, and aromatherapy contribute the extra ambiance required to turn the serenity of massage up to a soothing, blissful 11.

Though Great Hands Massage Therapy sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.