A spotless car attracts favorable attention from the opposite gender, avian graffiti artists, and the person whose house you just drove it through. Make a clean getaway with today's Groupon: for $14, you get an ultimate wash at Green Wave Car Wash in North Babylon (up to a $29.32 value).

Green Wave's wizards of the wash pamper automobiles with eco-friendly products, recycled water, and brushless equipment. The 15-minute ultimate wash includes an exterior foam wash, interior vacuuming and dusting, rim cleaning, tire shining, and laughter-inducing tickle fight with the undercarriage. A vision-enhancing scrub clears windows, and a triple-polishing wax, Simoniz Double Bond sealant, and Rain-X weather-protection dousing bolsters wheel confidence. Dashboards revel in spa-like conditioning, and rubber mats find themselves freed of mud tracks and discarded nuclear launch codes. After a thorough hand dry, revivified road babies are buffed with a high-gloss spray. Motorists can conclude the sudsy seminar by selecting a complimentary Little Trees air freshener to dangle from rearview mirrors or waft beneath armpits to attract potential suitors.