Though it doesn't provide the discomfort and high-ticket prices associated with an airport pat-down, a massage is still an effective tool for discovering concealed knives and small firearms. Prove you’re not packing in the most relaxing way with today’s Groupon: for $45, you get a 30-minute relaxation massage and a 30-minute classic facial (a $93.90 total value) at Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa in Thornhill.

Stressful things such as jobs and stress can transform your once-nimble muscles into rigid two-by-fours. The benefits of a soothing Hand & Stone relaxation massage are numerous and can include stress reduction, anxiety relief, and an improved attitude toward Segway cops who don't use turn signals. After 30 slow-ticked minutes of tissue tempering, Hand & Stone’s friendly aestheticians will turn their attention toward the visage with a 30-minute classic facial that uses virgin ingredients to cleanse, extract pore-clogging dirt goons, and balance teetering skinscapes.