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Assuming you don’t work at a coffin factory in a war zone populated by French existentialists, your fatigue, depression, and joylessness may actually be caused by what you eat. Today’s Groupon will help you eat better and keep your New Year’s resolution to stop muttering angrily. For $25, you get a personalized health consultation from Howe to Eat in Alexandria for $25 (an $85 value). If you can’t make it to Howe to Eat’s office, they’ll gladly conduct your consultation over the phone.

During your personalized session, Howe to Eat owner Jennifer Howe will examine your eating habits, health history, lifestyle, and goals (minus the one about being the first human to play paintball on the moon). Depending on what’s getting you down, Jennifer will metamorphose your body’s routine with a variety of healthy, delicious meal suggestions designed especially for you. Jennifer will also help you set goals and integrate healthier food into your daily diet to stop your cravings and help you avoid waking up with an unfamiliar cake on your shoulder. But don’t expect to subsist on the bland meals that cults use to break people’s spirits. Jennifer’s range of nutritious recipes will give your body the space to indulge in sweets and treats free of guilt.

Mindful eating and balanced living can alleviate symptoms of depression, addiction, food allergies, and irritable bowel syndrome, as well as less serious maladies such as anxiety, daily sugar cravings, sluggishness, and getting stuck in food ruts. You can buy a health consultation for yourself, and you can also buy extras for any friends who consider Baconaisse the answer to more than 14 of life’s problems.

Reviews

Jennifer Howe has dispensed her healthful advice on Blog Talk Radio, and two Yelpers give her counseling five stars. Here's what Express Night Out says about one of Howe's seminars:

• [Jennifer Howe's] method doesn't try to sell applesauce-and-carob desserts or claim that chocolate frosting is health food. "I think it is important for people to minimize their sugar, but it's also important to be practical here on planet Earth and know that people are going to indulge in sweet treats," says Howe. "I'd rather teach people to be mindful about this and have a way to really indulge."...Howe says she'll be sharing five to seven strategies, including the age-old advice "put your fork down between bites" and more meditative suggestions like seeking closure after a meal....The result will be more satisfying interactions with food in general... – Rachel Kaufman, Express Night Out