Similar to past tenses, tense backs are related to things that happened a while ago and are incomprehensible to most 5-year-olds. Brush up on the basics of back bliss with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a one-hour massage at Image of Serenity Massage Therapy on Gilbert Drive (a $50 value).

Mariquita Smith's trained hands smooth away stress and unravel tightly wound muscles using an assortment of therapeutic pressures. Skilled in various body-pampering massage styles, Mariquita can mold hardened back muscles into soft clay during a Swedish massage, or dive 20,000 leagues below the flesh, defeating fibrous foes with a deep-tissue massage. Strengthen geological relationships by lying on the ground during relaxing thai massage movements or letting hot stones melt away stress. A reflexology massage consults clairvoyant feet to exercise stress-inducing demons, while a pregnancy massage allows expectant mothers to eschew the back pains of transporting tiny humans to focus on important things, such as remembering what their feet look like. Minds can join their soothed bodily counterparts, letting stress wash away amid the calming ambiance of Mariquita's private massage studio.