Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a half-hour massage at Iron Lotus Organic Day Spa, located within Iron Lotus Yoga in Mission (a $50.40 value, including HST).

Borrowing its name from an ancient symbol of spirituality and renewal, Iron Lotus Yoga houses an organic day spa where a licensed aesthetician directs holistic services that include full-body massage. The session sweeps sinews toward tranquility using organic Golden Moor mud oils with 30 minutes of coddling, the same amount of time it takes to cook a frozen pizza over a hot laptop battery. As muscles release tension, bodies may experience further benefits ranging from improved circulation to enhanced skin tone. The spa's interiors balance warm and cool colours inspired by the earth and sea, enfolding clients in a soothing atmosphere like a velvet teddy bear waiting for a hug.