Today's modern world, with its plethora of countries, panoply of waterways, and constantly changing laws about what is and what isn't "mail fraud" is as confusing as it is stressful. Get a clear definition of relaxation with today's Groupon: for $85, you get a Father's Day spa package including Bleach Bright teeth whitening (a $99 value), a 30-minute Swedish massage (a $45 value), and a smoothing body-polish treatment (an $85 value) at Island Day Spa (a $229 total value). Though this package was curated for fathers, this can be redeemed by anyone, including mothers, friends-of-friends, and private detectives.

Using all-natural Aveda body and skincare products, Island Day Spa's experienced aestheticians soothe fathers' worry-worn minds with professional pampering. Staff members apply Bleach Bright gel to tarnished chompers until they light up mouth caverns like a row of luminescent bats. Massage therapists delve into tense fatherly sinews in a relaxing Swedish massage, relieving strained muscles and finding lost remote controls wedged between tendons, and they then apply smoothing body polish to moisturize pelts. Spa-goers can also sip on a complimentary beverage, such as Aveda hot tea, as they undergo relaxifying procedures. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.