Like house parties, massages give people an excuse to forget about everyday stresses and fall asleep on someone else's table. Attend a fettle-ready fiesta with today's Groupon: for $32, you get your choice of a one-hour Swedish or deep-tissue massage from Kacey Mayo, LMT (a $65 value).

A licensed massage therapist and professional member of the American Massage Therapy Association, Kacey Mayo expertly mends and soothes muscles with customized massages. Tastefully draped in a sheet, guests are lulled by calming music as they recline on toasty massage tables gently heated by table warmers. During the Swedish massage, long, rolling strokes glide over bodies to soothe muscles, relieve aches and pains, and release stress. Kneads flow over the back and neck and extend to appendages, the scalp, and next-of-kin. Alternatively, the deep-tissue massage isolates zones rendered tender from past injury or overexposure to John Hughes films, and then bears down with pinpointed focus to exorcise tension in the depths of body tissue. Following the personalized pressing, bodies may relish in improved circulation, heightened flexibility, and diminished pain.

Kacey adjusts massages to accommodate patrons' wishes, spending more time knuckling vexed feet or sore shoulders upon request. She checks in with guests throughout their pamperings to ensure their comfort and that they haven't been replaced by an achy stunt double.