What You'll Get
Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $45, you get a one-hour Swedish–style Knead or lymphatic massage at Knead Body Boutique (a $90 value).
Knead Body Boutique's therapists encourage full relaxation by plying muscles and joints as they treat clients to pamper-amplifying amenities. During the Knead massage—a variation on the classic Swedish technique—therapists employ fluid movements to increase circulation as they stroke away tension with fingers strong enough to squeeze gold out of a yellow crayon. Treat doting mothers to a lymphatic massage, which aids in detoxification by motivating the lymphatic system to flush away waste materials as relieved tissues offer up their undesirables like citizens after a trash strike. Each massage takes place on a luxurious memory-foam table and can be accompanied by a complimentary beverage or a client's customized playlist blared from handily located iPod docks.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 4, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. 24hr cancellation notice required. Must use in 1 visit, no cash back. Gratuity not included. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Knead Body Boutique
Knead Body Boutique's self-explanatory name hints at its endeavors: kneading bodies with the aim to relax clients or alleviate achy areas. The staff's techniques run the gamut from a deep-tissue massage and reflexology to the use of heated stones and cupping. Massages, which can last from 15 to 120 minutes, prep bodies for organic body wraps crafted from a mango passion fruit balm, seaweed, or the cocoon of a giant caterpillar.