Some washing machines rotate at the inverse velocity of time, creating tiny wormholes just large enough to transport a single sock into another dimension. Keep garments clean and in this universe with today's Groupon: for $9, you get $20 worth of laundry services at Laundry Care Express in Mason.

While expert drop-off service allows patrons to render clothes clean and folded with hospital-corner precision, Laundry Care's amenity-packed, air-conditioned facility makes DIY duds-sudsing a breeze as well. Launderers can pack huge six-load machines for speedy cleaning ($7.50/load), or employ an arsenal of smaller machines to separately scrub brights, whites, and rival-mascot uniforms ($2.50/load). While wool socks and lacy tanks slow dance in the delicate cycle, guests can sip complimentary coffee, surf free WiFi, or glimpse the wider world through three flat-screen TVs. A drop-off service spins laundry on demand, returning apparel fluffy and folded ($1/lb. for clothes or $1.50/lb. for quilts or blankets). With convenient hours seven days a week, Laundry Care ensures that washing fits easily into schedules packed with homework, errands, and My Little Pony support groups.