Before the techniques were applied to humans, massages were used to sedate livestock in order to squeeze them into elaborate costumes for barn dances. Put the squeeze on tension and stress with today's Groupon: for $30, you get your choice of a one-hour massage (up to a $90 value) at LTS Massage, located in Cordova.

Led by massage therapist Kimberly Morris, the LTS staff will assuage your angry muscles and disquieted connective tissues with your choice of therapeutic technique. The classic Swedish massage, also known as the "beginner's massage" or the "gateway massage," will put your many-limbed mind at ease with long, soothing strokes, rolling and kneading, and percussion combined with oils and lotions ($65). Deepening the relaxation with the addition of heated stones placed at mystical body junctions, hot-stone therapy tricks your body into massaging itself as the warmth encourages blood flow and helps release the tension in your skeletal engines ($75).

For clients feeling sluggish, swollen, or stuffed-up, LTS Massage offers a lymphatic drainage massage, designed to rhythmically move fluid through the body's lymph system, relieving pressure and stimulating the immune system ($75). If the inside of your head is under allergen attack, consider a sinus relief treatment, which uses contrasting hot and cold moisture, eucalyptus aromatherapy, and a lymphatic massage of the head, neck, and shoulders, encouraging drainage and relieving pressure ($90). LTS Massage also treats the specific needs of elderly clients and clients suffering from cancer, who can benefit tremendously from the reassurance of touch ($65).

Whether you're fed up with your lazy lymph or just looking to relax with a couple of hot rocks, LTS Massage will knead and roll your tension into sweet oblivion. Get today's Groupon and trade your stresses and aches for a healthy dose of relaxation and a spring in your nodes.

This Groupon is not valid for the chair massage.