It takes about 15 muscles to smile, 50 to frown, and 148 to save a curbside couch from life in a landfill. Soothe sympathetic sinews with today's Groupon: for $32, you get a one-hour therapeutic massage at Majestic Therapeutic Massage (a $65 value).

Certified massage therapist and first-degree reiki practitioner Liz Majeski destresses bodies with a variety of massage modalities, from basic relaxation to specialized relief of chronic conditions. Patrons cozy up to the heated massage table while a trained body kneader applies specified or generalized pressure, alleviating lower back pain, softening overworked muscles, improving range of motion, and increasing circulation. Majeski's law-abiding fingertips bring chronic pain, sports injuries, stress, headaches, and pregnancy discomfort to justice with an effect more calming than a sensory-deprivation tank filled with lavender. Essential oil combined with aromatherapy ensures an olfactory adventure, and elements of reflexology relieve tension by addressing target points in the hands, feet, head, or areas marked with a bull's-eye.