Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science- project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $30, you get a choice of one of three one-hour massages (a $65 value) or one 30-minute hot-stone massage (a $55 value) at Mona Lisa's Massage & Wellness in Hermitage.

Mona Lisa's collective of tension tamers craft muscle-melting sessions guaranteed to settle clients in a tranquil state of relaxation. The slate of services lets guests customize their relief, crafting a soothing choose-your-own-adventure.

Using Swedish techniques, the Serenity massage kneads and rolls away muscle stiffness or soreness to promote a serene, relaxed state of body and mind. The one-hour Vitality session blends the traditional stretching of sports massage with other modalities to release tension and pain built up during exercise or hours spent in cupboards during the state hide-and-seek championship.

A fitness-based Skinny massage streamlines figures with special targeted techniques intended to tighten and tone skin, promote weight loss, and reduce the appearance of stretch marks. The hot-stone therapy draws out stress via flat, smooth stones placed on mystical zones of convergence on the body, creating a less traditional, more igneous experience.