Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $50, you get a one-hour therapeutic massage at Moore Massage (a $100 value) in Copley Square. Boston Magazine named Moore Massage Best of Boston in 2007, 2008, and 2009.

A Moore Massage is no ordinary lavender-lotioned, fluffy-robed, nimble-handed pat on the back; each of the studio's massages keeps its focus firmly on preventive treatment. After admiring Moore Massage's new 1500-square-foot clinic and education center, take your pick from a variety of therapeutic muscle-melting methods. A clinical or sports massage, such as a trigger point or orthopedic massage, pinpoints and treats the pain sources of bodies still sore from multiple plummets off desert cliffs. Wellness and relaxation massages, such as Swedish, deep-tissue, and prenatal, help already healthy humans stay that way, by keeping the body's maple syrup circulating so that it doesn't coagulate around the nozzle. With deliberate strokes and intense focus, founder Michael Moore and his crew of skilled massage therapists will expertly remove knots from your muscles like a master sailor with surprisingly kempt hands. You'll leave Moore Massage with a spring in your step and an aria in your nervous system.

Longer massage options and massages with Michael Moore himself are available, but you will have to pay the difference in price. Dunk your battered body in a giant bucket of massage's crème-de-la-crème with today's Groupon to Moore Massage. Find a massage near you.

Reviews

Boston Magazine named Moore Massage Best of Boston in 2007, 2008, and 2009. EDGE's reviewer waxed poetic, and DailyCandy agrees. Yelpers give Moore a perfect five stars:

• As EDGE’s Travel and Style Editor, I’m fortunate to get frequent massages, largely at five-star resorts and world-class spas. In ten-plus years of being pampered, I can honestly say I’ve never had a massage as incredibly amazing as I received from Keith. If I won a million dollars tomorrow, I’d skip Gucci, forego expensive restaurants, and hire this man to manipulate my body as often as possible. (In fact, within the first five minutes of being on his table I thought, "If I never bought another Gucci or Louis Vuitton bag and stopped constantly redecorating my house, I could probably afford to see him every week...") – Jason Salzenstein, EDGE
• Warnings: Avoid if you prefer the fluff-and-buff procedure of meditative spas. Massage therapist Michael Moore works into every crevice of pain to coax relief out of places you didn’t know needed it. Do Not Use: If you enjoy the hip, shoulder, and neck flexibility of Gumby. This service is meant for those who suffer from acute to severe cases of everydayism...Side Effects: May cause mild soreness, utter relaxation, and, in lucky cases, nirvana. – DailyCandy