In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a 30-minute massage and an ionic footbath detox session (a $79 value) at Myotouch, located on Winthrop Road. Myotouch specializes in injury massage and trigger-point therapy, as well as reflexology to relieve chronic pain and prevent injuries. During the 30-minute massage, clients can direct the massage therapist's dexterous digits toward well-known knots, or allow the professional to take the reigns and steer sore muscles over a cliff into a gelatinous sea of tranquility. In order to receive more individualized treatment, Myotouch recommends peppering your massage with feedback, such as telling the therapist to pay special attention to a tense trapezius or to hum Vulcan lullabies. Following the massage, weary pups take a dunk in a soothing ionic footbath, gently evicting squatting toxins at the molecular level.

Reviews

Past clients rave about the massage and detox services at Myotouch. Here's what they are saying in online testimonials:

• You have helped my neck and shoulders so much. I can move with no problems, no pain. – Mimi K.
• Returned from Afghanistan and had awful pain and discomfort in tailbone and lower back. After two sessions I feel amazing. – Dallas H.