Children need to expend excess energy lest they overrun the streets, trading currency for gold stars and setting up puppet governments. Occupy energetic youths with today's Groupon: for $99, you get one five-day kids' indoor climbing camp at Nashville School of Climbing (a $200 value). Register your mini mountaineers for any of the following dates: June 6–10, June 13–17, July 11–15, July 18–22, July 25–29, or August 1–5.

Adolescent ascenders, ages 7–12, can safely channel their inner mountain goat on more than 12,000 square feet of scalable surfaces at Nashville School of Climbing's summer camps. For three hours a day over five days, skilled instructors guide junior climbers through basics skills, terminology, and interactive games. Rockhoppers' Camp (ages 7–9) and Cliffhangers' Camp (ages 10–12) boast a three to one camper to counselor ratio, and give parents plenty of free time to catch up on all the cartoons they TiVo'd. The cost of the camp includes harness and shoe rental, instruction, and a daily snack.

Evan Barnett, the Youth Programs Director, invokes eight years of experience working in the outdoors with kids, and holds a degree in therapeutic recreation from Middle Tennessee State, preparing him for a career organizing red rover games between factions of rival psychologists.