It takes about 15 muscles to smile, 50 to frown, and 148 to save a curbside couch from life in a landfill. Soothe sympathetic sinews with today’s Groupon to NOLA Massage. Choose between the following options:

• For $35, you get a 60-minute massage (a $70 value).
• For $55, you get a 90-minute hot stone massage (a $110 value).<p>

Licensed massage therapist Amy Stewart (LMT#3118) exorcises tension and stress with seven customizable massage modalities honed throughout 10 years in practice. During a 90-minute hot stone massage, Amy strategically places warm, smooth rocks over tense tendons and fills the air with therapeutic aromas culled from a psychiatrist’s rose garden. Heat seeps from the stones to melt pain, while flowing Swedish massage strokes coax taught muscles into blissful relaxation.

Alternatively, clients can consult with Amy to devise a custom, 60-minute massage. Those with chronic pain may find relief from the focused kneading of sports and deep-tissue massages, and expectant mothers may treat their whole bodies to a restful prenatal massage or soothe their weary feet with reflexology. Custom massages may deliver benefits such as reduced stress, improved circulation, and an increase in energy equivalent to swallowing a gumball-sized sun.

Although NOLA Massage sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.