If grapes could talk, they'd recount their dreams, the first time they got plucked, and the first time they felt victimized by nature's rumor mill—the vine. Taste the tales of the grape with today's Groupon: for $50, you get two tickets to the Three Winery Trolley Tour from North Fork Trolley Company (a $100 value).

North Fork Trolley Company squires sightseers around Long Island’s Twin Forks on a variety of differently themed tours in vehicles reminiscent of yesteryear. Departing from the Office Max parking lot at Tanger Outlets in Riverhead at 11 a.m., the Three Winery Trolley Tour conducts thirsty oenophiles on a midday land-cruise through Long Island’s fertile wine country, which produces nectars elegant enough to imbibe in the early afternoon without the excuse of soothing romantic woes or lonesome wine glasses. Patrons partake in gleeful, refined nips of grown-up grape juice during leisurely interludes at a triumvirate of vineyards, featuring smooth reds and crisp whites. In addition to the tastings, one winery will provide an in-depth tour of the grounds and a high-stakes wine-barrel-stacking competition. After a final pit stop at a local farm stand for a post-pouring produce shopping spree (not included in the cost of the tour), the trolley releases its purple-tongued human cargo back into the wild at about 3 p.m.

Customers must be 21 or older to participate. Please call ahead to reserve your tour.