Like a potato, a human body not properly mashed and moisturized will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $42, you get a 50-minute Swedish or deep-tissue massage (an $85 value) at One Salon & Spa, located in Oak Brook.

The knowledgeable kneadsters at One Salon & Spa envelop achy bone bins in a tranquil, contemporary sanctuary, stimulating the senses with fragrant aromatherapy and soothing music before undertaking your choice of its luxurious 50-minute deep-tissue or Swedish massages. Kick back in the comfortable lounge, and entrust your innermost tensions to the confident, skilled therapist. He or she will expunge your muscle memory of long-forgotten trapeze vacations in the deep-tissue massage, letting nimble fingers root out lingering aches with targeted movements. The classic Swedish massage pampers the dermis with a series of light to medium pressure strokes that emphasize profound relaxation while boosting circulation, flexibility, and patty-cake skills. Afterward, your stress-free shoulders will tingle with peaceful pleasure, and you can use your newfound clearheadedness to write the Great Armenian Novel.

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Valid only with select staff members.