Without a strong core, the Earth would look weak and sickly, leading to even more abuse and heckling from the moon. Repel your own rude satellites with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get three Pilates mat classes at Pilates Corps, Inc. in Scottsdale (a $75 value).

Pilates Corps, Inc. equips bodies with techniques that strengthen muscles and sculpt limbs using the authentic methods of Romana Kryzanowska, the famous protégé of Joseph Pilates. Continually trained instructors teach clients proper posture and alignment, as well as the principles of Pilates, including control, concentration, precision, and good citizenship. The beginner and intermediate mat classes provide 45 minutes of classic lengthening and strengthening Pilates exercises, supplemented by small props, such as light weights and the magic circles. With a maximum of 10 students per instructor, classes offer individual attention to each flexing dervish. Advanced students of mat Pilates may register for Pilates Corps' advanced classes after demonstrating the requisite skills, knowledge, and secret Pilates head butt.