For $175, today's deal gets you an open-water scuba certification course, including equipment rental and study fees, from Pirate Divers, located in Newburgh (a $334 value).

Pirate Divers imparts know-how to aspiring water divers desiring to safely submerge themselves in water for unnatural lengths of time. The SSI open-water certification facilitates sub-sea-level adventure, licensing you to join other trained divers on excursions, procure dive equipment, refill scuba air tanks, and saunter past bouncers at exclusive clubs. An online home-study program is followed by four two-hour academic lessons at the Dive Shop, leading up to four two-hour pool practice sessions at one of several area pool clubs (a $299 value). Pirate Divers provides divers with a mask, fins, and snorkels (a $35 value) for the duration of the class, with all other equipment and study fees provided in the initial cost.

Though the class won't churn out scuba divers certified to dive alone—an open-water evaluation in a scheduled dive location ($75) is necessary for certification—it might finally put to rest a persistent fear of bathtubs and large puddles. Postclass, prepare to be able to shower for hours, retrieve all the coins from the bottom of every fountain, and diffuse nuclear bombs perched perilously above an abyssal alien city. Classes are generally held on the weekends or Tuesday nights, though Pirate Divers can accommodate other schedules. Call ahead to schedule class time and procure study materials.