In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a 60-minute therapeutic or relaxation massage at Ranée’s Massage Therapy (a $60 value).

Massage therapist Ranée Leduc soothes weary muscles and banishes tension with relaxation and therapeutic massages. In a relaxation massage, Leduc takes her cue from clients on whether to use light or medium pressure as she unknots gnarls and soothes minds. A therapeutic massage, meanwhile, alleviates a specific sore spot or injury point and can include deep-tissue massage, trigger-point therapy, or a strongly worded letter to evict headaches and other pains. Leduc, who has 10 years of experience, reinforces her training with further education and high-grade concrete. En route to the massage table, clients greet a pond full of fish and turtles that have obligingly agreed to serve as a physical manifestation of tranquility.