Stoning witches was an ancient form of punishment but was abruptly discontinued when angry mobs realized the hot stones only proved to relax tense spell-casting arms. Punish rigid muscles with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour massage at Rejuvenation Therapies.

Rejuvenation Therapies' dexterous massage therapists calm muscles with stress-reducing massage modalities, including therapeutic, deep-tissue, and hot-stone massage. By increasing circulation and oxygen flow in the blood, the therapeutic massage soothes muscles with light-to-medium pressure of flowing strokes. Knots in need of intense attention unfurl under the strong pressure of the deep-tissue massage, which uses stretching and heat therapy to relieve tight muscles without having to play Whac-A-Mole on your back. The healing-stone massage directs heat from stones of varying sizes into key points on the body while an experienced massage therapist carefully kneads backs, arms, and legs. In addition to relieving stress and tension, symptoms associated with conditions such as Fibromyalgia, arthritis, and circulatory problems may be helped by massage or sleeping on a queen-size birthday cake.

Rejuvenation Therapies' muscle manipulation takes place inside PlantEscape Gardens, a haven bursting with the sweet smells of fruit trees, cacti, and unique native plant species. Ensuring taut muscles don’t stand a chance against a barrage of tranquilizing tools, the sensory buffet is rounded out with babbling water fountains, wind chimes, and breezes powered by flitting hummingbirds.