While ancient shamans believed it was safe to cut tension with a knife, the procedure only produces smaller, more potent tensionettes. Let a professional decimate the spawn of stress with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour massage at Relaxa Massage, located in Monona(a $70 value). Today's deal is not valid for the sports massage.

At Relaxa Massage, therapist João Frasier, CLMT, reduces muscular maladies through a variety of personalized, naturally therapeutic massages. The deep-tissue massage distracts dermal defenses with a hypnotically shiny watch while digging deep to relieve tension in over-worked lower layers of muscle and connective tissues. Treat trans-continental tension with a Swedish massage, which incorporates five styles of long, flowing strokes to help reduce pain, joint stiffness, and improve the punting abilities of patients with osteoarthritis of the knee. The trigger-point massage pinpoints pain at its source by kneading palpable nodules and flattening fibrous flaws.

Located inside Tinnen Family Chiropractic, Relaxa Massage's professional, restorative services bestow bodies with a multitude of benefits, including increased flexibility, blood flow, and tension relief that doesn't involve sight gags or poorly-constructed puns.