Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon: for $45, you get a 45-minute Swedish massage (a $75 value) with aromatherapy (a $20 value) at Sahana Spa in Montclair (a $95 total value).

The stress-busting savants at Sahana Spa masterfully blend modern science, clinical treatments, and ancient eastern holistic wisdom into each of their spa services. During a 45-minute session, a trained massage therapist kneads knotted muscles into submission, forcing tension to tap out at the hands of a famed, five-fingered grip from Sweden. The firm press of fingers helps to improve circulation to the affected areas, aiding the expulsion of toxins from their muscle hideouts and sending waves of relief to troubled areas. Soothing scents occupy the olfactory system throughout the session, filling nasal passages with aromas derived from nature's most bountiful source: bees' dreams.

Drenched in a royal Indian theme, Sahana's inviting, natural-element architecture showcases handmade Indian artifacts set against vibrant red, gold, and orange. Woods and stone add strong accents to the furnishings, and the high-ceilinged atrium and soft-lit relaxation lounge create a sense of tranquility akin to taking meditation lessons from a professorial lotus flower.