For centuries, mankind has envied pizza dough's calm demeanor and wondered how to achieve it without the expense of being escorted via wooden paddle into a Sicilian brick oven. Find out how with today's Groupon: for $30, new clients get a one-hour full-body Swedish massage at Seasons Spa and Salon (a $65 value). An appointment is required at its Concord studio.

Swedish massage, a light- to medium-pressured technique, is the most popular type of knead after sourdough. It uses long, connective strokes to improve blood flow, stimulate the lymphatic system, relieve physical tension, and take your consciousness to a blissfully whited-out plane where your mind can bob up and down like a Q-tip buoy in a sea of cotton balls. After one hour, Seasons' licensed massage therapists will vacuum up your empuddled being and pour it into a human-shaped glass jar until it reforms into a solid.

The massaged will leave Seasons with a spring in your step and an aria in their nervous system, making it a particularly well-timed Mother's Day gift. De-stressed maternal units can use their newfound clear-headedness and rubberized being to achieve higher productivity, contagiously relax those around them, or finally beat Galaga. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.

Reviews

Citysearchers give Seasons Spa and Salon 3.5 stars, and five Yellow Pagers give it four:

• The atmosphere is totally calming since the spa area is completely removed from the rest of the salon. I recommend arriving about 15 to 20 minutes early in order to wind down before going into a state of complete relaxation with an excellent massage. – louiekel, Citysearch
• Seasons offers everything, including a restaurant in walking distance (TGI Fridays). The stylists there are some of the best in the city and their spa services are the same as what you will find in the upscale areas of town. The location is convenient, right by Ronnie's Plaza Theater, and just off Lindbergh Road. – Sandi B., Yellow Pages