Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts to cope with edgy Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed away in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside of outer space with today’s deal: for $75, you get a three-hour couples massage class at Sterling Spa (a $245 value). The next couples class is scheduled for July 17, and at least one date per month will be added. Additionally, more dates may be added according to demand.

Sterling's palatial confines welcome partners interested in discovering the secret to transforming stressed-out sighs into easy exhales. During a three-hour group class, a master massage therapist will teach effective techniques to relieve overall tension, untangle noxious knots, and retie mental bows. Learn to give comforting full-body massages that apply pressure and extract stress throughout the back, neck, shoulders, and limbs, leaving fingers strong enough to crush charcoal into diamonds at neighborhood block parties. Students should wear loose-fitting, comfortable clothing and be prepared for minor disrobing that allows them to maintain modesty as they're fully draped by a sheet and the opaque fog of self-confidence.

Couples classes require students to bring their own twin sheet set or rent one at the facility for $3. After enhancing their stroke techniques, couples receive a complimentary handout illustrating the skills covered and professional-grade massage oil samples perfect for slicking indoor slip 'n slides.