The fine art of massage is just like painting; though anyone can attempt it, amateurs usually end up with a poorly rendered replica of Munch's The Scream. Experience the work of a master with today's Groupon: for $40, you get your choice of 70-minute massage (an $80 value) at STL Massage Services in Clayton, St. Peters, Chesterfield, or a location of your choice within 30 miles of St. Louis, Jefferson, or St. Charles County.

STL Massage Services' experienced massage therapist has been kneading brawn for more than 15 years, performing 13 different table massage techniques to assuage bodily pain. Creative techniques include the bamboo massage, which employs heated bamboo sticks to administer pressure to flesh, promoting circulation and increasing happiness by triggering thoughts of adorable pandas, and the aromatherapy massage, which gingerly strokes olfactory systems with essential oils that whisper messages of serenity to the limbic system. With a degree in physical therapy and experience in personal training, the therapist can alleviate badminton-induced muscle discomfort with a sports massage, which can also help prevent future injury. More variations on the classic massage, such as deep tissue, lymphatic, and Thai, fulfill solo-relaxation needs. Two Groupons get human pairs a couples massage at the Clayton location.

STL Massage Services transports achy backs and limbs to a land of calm, stationing tables under a cascade of airy fabrics, and mounting flickering candles on its brightly hued walls. For those who prefer the soothing smell of homebrew and the quiet company of pet rocks, the table can also come to the homes of anyone within 30 miles of St. Louis, Jefferson, and St. Charles County.