For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Today’s Groupon offers a solution: for $30, you get a one-hour Swedish or therapeutic massage at Take Ten Body Therapy (a $62 value). This Groupon can also be applied toward more expensive massage therapies; just pay the remaining balance at your appointment.

In an accommodating downtown location, the licensed Take Ten therapists stretch clients out on comfortable massage beds and cast a long list of lightning-charged spells to induce relaxation. Repose in daydreamy reveries during a therapeutic massage, which uses deep-tissue techniques to deactivate trigger points in muscles, increase blood flow, and remove toxins. Or, opt for a Swedish massage, which works the soft body tissues with long, flowing effleurages, tapotements, frictions, and vibrations to relieve pain, stiffness, and stress caused by scaling thousands of candied fish for yesterday’s office party.

Take Ten’s mission is to encourage people to take time (even if it’s just 10 minutes) for themselves, thereby annihilating stress and bolstering health. With a 60-minute Swedish or therapeutic massage, you’ll take 10 six times in a row and blast stress to the sixth dimension while checking the carpeted floor for six gold fillings recently dropped from the ecstatically moaning mouths of six former customers.

Reviews

Columbus Alive featured Take Ten's owner, Kimberly Jones:

• Daily stresses can cause physical pain, something she can solve in a few minutes with her hands, said Jones…"It's not that we don't like people," Jones said, laughing. "But we like it when they get off the table, and they feel like they've been there an hour ... and feel so much better." – Brittany Kress