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Like the soothing syllables “tay”, “ah”, and “she” massage your vocal chords into a peaceful stupor, today’s Groupon massages your body. For $45, you get a one-hour massage or a 45-minute foot massage at Teashi. It will return pristine humanity to your muscles and renewed energy through your blood stream. Reward your tired self for the endless blog posts you wrote about kittens and soup.
Teashi’s quaintly comfy spa operates under carefully monitored green standards. From toxin-free and organic products, to recycled tissues and papers, and eco-friendly housekeeping policies, Teashi is as good for the environment as it is for your weary body.
An expert Teashi body-patter will provide you with your choice of hour-long massages:
- Swedish: The most popular type of massage. Melt your muscles like beeswax, erase tension, improve blood flow, and awaken the lymphatic system. A $90 value.
- Deep Tissue/Pressure Point: Give your body a break and surrender to an hour of deliberate strokes and direct muscle grain pressure. A $100 value.
- Reflexology Foot Massage: The average person takes 3,000 to 5,000 steps a day. De-stress your soles with this foot-focused treatment designed to ease pain and encourage relaxation. A $65 value for 45 minutes.
- Prenatal Massage: Massage away the back pain that stems from carrying around a person in your body. A $100 value.
Your body has cravings all its own, so listen to its nagging and choose the treatment it wants. Teashi removes the stress from the situation through its high sterilization standards, which make the spa an oasis of high sterility, bodily rejuvenation, and 45–60 minutes worth of qi restoration.
The San Francisco Chronicle featured a lovely write-up on Teashi saying: > * The cherry blossom wallpaper and chandelier set a certain kind of mood that was just right for sipping Flora Springs Chardonnay during manicures, pedicures and facials at Teashi spa on a recent weeknight.
Citysearchers give four stars: > * Lovely decor, soothing sounds, very elegant and welcoming. Perfect location to rest your feet and relax the soul. – bundinha1, Citysearch > * The employees are extremely careful and also delightfully sweet. – matthadoll, Citysearch
The Secret Massage
Sweden is known for both its neutral stance on war and as the inventors of a world-renowned massage technique. The Swedes first perfected their deep, relaxing massage in 1919, but because they feared their treasured techniques falling into the wrong hands, they kept the existence of the Swedish massage a secret from the world. It was not until 1987, when satellite photos of Sweden revealed a shockingly relaxed populace and dozens of strategic massage bunkers, that the world became aware of the existence of the secret massage.
Naturally, the world powers began jockeying for access to the potentially weaponize-able massage, by means both diplomatic and underhanded. Many international observers believe that the 1992 Summer Olympics were, in fact, a complicated ruse carried out by Russia and the United States to distract Sweden long enough to steal their massage, as evidenced by the fact that Sweden won an unexpected 904 Gold Medals that year. Still, the Swedes held tight to the massage until 1999, when Y2K-related fears caused Swedish officials to release classified details of the massage, believing that the world would likely end. Today, the Swedish massage is practiced all over the world, though rumors that the Swedes are secretly working on an even better massage run rampant.
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2340 Polk St
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